Take a deep breath
Friday, February 17, 2012 at 5:30PM 
Word count: 285 Reading time: 1-2 mins.
No man is an island entire of itself wrote John Donne. The advice-to-writers’ take on that quote is: if you want to succeed you must join a writers’ group. This advice pops up frequently and, for all the benefits group membership promises, there is a potentially disastrous downside: the destruction of your work.
I have seen a writer leave a meeting early, only to have another member of the group turn to the rest and say with a sneer, “Who’s going to want to read something like that?”
I sat speechless and wondered, “Is that how my prose will be discussed when I am out of earshot?”
Likewise I have had fiction shredded by members of an online group who felt that anyone else’s success detracted from theirs. I left that group quickly and didn’t bother to report back when the two much-criticized stories won awards.
Julia Cameron in her book The Writer’s Life says, “I have seen more good writing destroyed by bad criticism than I have ever seen bad writing helped by good criticism.”
Anyone who’s ever had the best from a writing group – support, companionship, and encouragement – may not understand the damage a bad group wreaks. Anyone who joins a group needs to proceed cautiously and remember the words of E.B. White A writer’s courage can easily fail him…I admire anybody who has the guts to write anything at all.
I agree writing does take courage but sharing it takes even more. How do you avoid feeling stranded at the edge of the world with your work? Do you share with a group or only let a few select readers have a look?
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Illustration by Harmsen Van der Beek
Reader Comments (8)
Hi Maggie!
I'm not a member of a writing group, but I am blessed with great crit partners. As writers, we're constantly seeking validation for our work. Criticism doesn't have to be mean spirited, but I know it often is. Like most writers, I've been the recipient of harsh crits, but there's a difference between constructive crits and someone who's using my work as a platform to showcase their ability to snark. At times, the real issue is the reviewer's own insecurities and failings.
I believe there's always going to be those who are waiting to pounce and and decry another's success. I also believe in karma. :)
"I also believe in karma" - love that!
Thanks for dropping by, Jennifer.
I've gone to writing groups and met wonderful people, helpful people with invaluable feedback on my work. I'm not saying I've always liked what they've told me but they've helped me improve. Friendships have blossomed and matured.
But maybe writers should wear runners to new groups. At the first glimmer of ego-indulging bluster, they should sprint away.
Avoid harm wherever possible?
Maggie
I belong to a writer's group, but not for my novel. I submit short stories, essays or musings, but not a project as close to my heart as a novel. I've had criticism from a writer who told me my work wasn't good enough for her to bother critiquing, but did ask if I could continue critiquing hers. After licking my wounds for a while, I managed to team up with a young woman I've never met. We exchange chapters online, we critique, we suggest, we console and cajole. And we laugh. Thirty-five years separate us, but the exchange of encouragement and honest, helpful advice binds us together. I am grateful.
I go to a writing group that has monthly speakers who are involved in different aspects of writing. The group also hosts a 'Dare To Be Heard' open mic night once a month. This combination provides companionship, a forum for short pieces, and interesting content but no structured critiquing services.
I found my critiquing partner online and we have forged a strong friendship while we've held each other's feet to the fire. This would be a lonely endeavour without her. I think John Donne was right.
Maggie
If it weren't for the encouragement of my writing partner, I would not have survived the first month three years ago when I thought it would be 'somewhat easy' to write a novel. How hard could it be, I thought. Well, it is hard. Very hard. One of the hardest things I've ever done. It is a bumpy but wonderful journey and on the days I wonder what and why I'm doing this, my WP reminds me that every writer feels this sometimes.
My suggestion to anyone who is considering the notion of writing a novel is to find a strong, honest, compassionate, and insightful writing partner. Groups can be brutal. There is always someone who is 'showing off'; the person who wants to prove they are more knowledgeable, who feels better when they put others down. The waters can be treacherous in a group setting.
The one-on-one relationship avoids this pitfall. There is no room for ego, no showing off and a much more relaxed environment all around. You can always test your novel on a larger group later; after the first, second, or third draft. But in the early stages, I personally feel I need to insulate myself.
Thank you MB, not only for another insightful blog, but for being there for me.
Allison
I'm glad we met, Allison, and I'm sure one day we really will meet, when we are both on the same side of the continent.
I agree that keeping the effort contained in the early stages is essential to its survival. I would never again take fresh work to a group for review. Too many opinions kill the forming vision.
Maggie
I once belonged to a fantastic writing group. We were honest with each other, we each had different strengths, and though some of us were already friends when we started we definitely became closer of the years of regular meetings -- even got together to publish our own chapbook.
One trouble we had was handling larger-scale work at regular meetings. You always wanted to bring something to the next meeting, and for a larger work (like, say a novel) You wee luck y if you had a chapter done, and then it would only be first draft. It's hard to give feedback on an entire work when you're only reading it a bit at a time (a chapter out of a book, or one poem out of a cycle), and with many things to read for each meeting.
Still -- regular feedback on your work from people who get to know not only you but your writing well is gold. They will call you out on things you do all the time that you don't see, and if you need to explain or defend anything, that's also a sign it perhaps wasn't strong or clear enough yet.
I do miss my writers' group, and I have taken my longer WIP to them for feedback. Their brutal honesty is still something I trust.
I agree – there must be a writing group or equivalent. This is such an isolated activity.
The first problem, as always, is trust.
The second problem is building a rapport with people who have the time, inclination, and skills to offer helpful critiques.
I've given my latest YA novel to 9 readers (6 adults, 3 teens) and acted on feedback from every one of them. If I could find more people to read, I’d be happy. I just don’t know where or how to identify those opportunities. I found Critique Circle but that’s all very anonymous and impersonal – see above comments about isolation and wanting a rapport. Plus there’s the nebulous question of when is too much feedback simply too much? I found writing with an online group of five where we did weekly critiques was overwhelming in terms of critique workload as well as all the conflicting opinions coming back.
I have good resources now. I get brutal honesty about my tangents and wordiness along with challenges about characterizations and pace. I also get encouragement and that is critical, because encouragement keeps me going. Flattery, on the other hand, dulls me like an opiate.